You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
