hell yes lets make some ravioli
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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