you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
