I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i now understand why vodka
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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