i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
