I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
