direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
