Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
