We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
