There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
