You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
