More tranny stories later!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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