Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
