I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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