It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
