Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
