honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
