Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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