So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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