you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
