that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just want to make out with him forever
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
