My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
