He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
