Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
