Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
