help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
