Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
