Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
