If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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