I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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