put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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