East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
