There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
