Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can I color on your dick again?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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