why didn't you poke me back
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
