he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
