Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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