Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
