She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
