Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
