we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
