I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
