So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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