Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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