yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
