so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
