we have pet lesbian snakes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
