I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can you bring me the toilet please
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
