You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
