I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I believe in your delicious
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
