im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
